fickle minded - ism


i love you. i love you not. i love you. i love you not. i love you.

haaay. im so confused. maybe u are too. haha. oh well, that's a love life with me. so uncertain. haha. and kahit itanong mo na sa akin what's the real score. i'll just give you ambigous answers. all bull sh*t kind of stuff. haha.



sorry. that's how i am. i wont change for you, or for anyone else, unless of course if ur kean, tatsi, raimund, brandon, or pete. haha. take me or leave me. one thing's for sure. dko hahayaang may tumulo sa iyong pisngi. ayos? ayos!


i love you. i need you. i wanna be with you. NOT.


you almost, ALMOST, had me. tssss.


*patawarin mo ako.hawakan mo muli ang aking kamay.tahan na aking mahal.d ko naman sinasadya*


so happy together


whew... our band is now pretty much quite okay! we can now play the instruments. kahit anong mangyari, iraraos namin toh. kahit kami kami lang. whatever it takes!! ..haaay... kaya yan! we still have 2 weeks! ayos.



haha thanks for the other band. nako, wala talaga kayong band loyalty!!! ahaha. ayos... thanks kay aldo for his tutorial sa cajon, bass, guitars, egg, bongos, at lalong lalo na sa kanyang oh so bahay na pinagppractisan namin ng acoustic version ng head over feet at wishing i was there. thanks kay louie sa pagturo mggitara ng matino, sa pagpunta sa house, at sa pagproblema ng mga problema ko concerning the band. thanks kay gerby for percussion lessons. thanks kay fong sa pakikinig sa amin at pagtulong sa arrangement at kay michelle. thanks kay alvin, sa pagyaya samin na makijam every friday and sa concern sa amin. thanks sa kapitbahay kong si michael sa pagturo mgdrums, sa paghahanap ng studio para samin which is "jamingan", sa pagsama sa studio at sa pangungulit.



at shempre sa mga oh so bandmates ko. michelle on vocals. aufie on drums. jao on bass. iya the band manager and somekinda vocalist/bass/guitars/percussion. AYOS. ASTIG. SOLID TAYO. woohooo...




AAYYYY... almost forgot! thanks sa mga inspiration ko sa pagbuo at pagpursue nito. first, sa callalily. next, sa lahat ng mga bandang hinahangaan ko. lastly, SAYO na naging inspirasyon koooo!!! AYOS KAYONG LAHAT!!! astig... *





*i still like like you!! ahem ahem... kahit super bc ako, naiisip pa rin kita!!!
* i'll marry the guitarist of the other band!!! (*********)


i confess

mahal pa rin pala kita! ahaha ...mahal kita! gaga lang talaga ako!!! anong gagawin ko? kawawa naman tayo! we're stuck in this set-up... ayos!!!

*patawarin mo ako. hawakan mo ulti ang aking kamay. tahan na aking mahal.


ayos. i think may future na ang banda namen. "eve's drop" is the name. wala kaming prob sa audition, ang prob namen ay ung sa ga night. but its ok, everything will turn out to be okay. no need to stres out over some issues. if god puts you to it, he will put you through it.

OMG! could i be once again falling for the same person? ahaha. secret lang ah! but i think im inlove again with *tooot* ahaha. yehey! may inspiration nako. ayos. kasi naman noh. after all that happened, ok pa din kami. astig!!! ..im wishing i was there, coz im head over feet for him. NOT. haha


i miss kean like hell!!! shetness... d nko nakakapunta sa mga gig nila!


on bands and events


malapit na ang battle of the bands. and still, pending pa rin ako. nakakainis naman ang events organizing... lahat uncertain. grrr. so pano kung di matuloy ung event, edi pati ung pangarap ko na pagbabanda itatapon ko na. dahil sa mga epal na sponsors at sa mga rockstars. grrr. music industry is really one heck of a place to be...

i really wanna play at the battle of the bands. hay nako.i need a back-up. im almost close to being desperate. haha. im a certified, "events organizer" coz i can feel the pain of being one. haha. wish ko laaang!

[what the hell is this?!?]
*so may chismis na nanliligaw na "daw" si tatsi kay casper. buti naman at si tatsi. not kean. hehe. ayos! so i super like casper na talaga. kasi di niya inaagaw sakin si kean. hehe....

You're A Crazy Drunk

When you drink, you get wrecked - and it ain't pretty.

what happened to you/ to me/ to them?

Kamusta naman iyon? May acoustic version na ung stars by callalily. And I know this is quite odd for me to say, but the video sucks. Bigtime. (huhu cant believe im saying this) kasi naman noh! c kean and tatsi lang ang may silbi sa video. Vocals and rhythm lang. Tas puro c kean lang ung finofocus eh dpa naman sha ganoon kagwapo dun. Huhuhu. Pati din si tatsi di maayos dun. Lahat sila!!! Nako, Parang nagiba na ung tingin ko sa kanila because of that fucking video. Ano ba toh?!?

Haaay. Im really sorry kean and tatsi. Huhuhu. But it really kills me inside to see that video. Pero still like you guys, basta di ko lang Makita ung video na un. Hehe. So bakit parang walang mga gigs lately? kasi naman ang hirap maghanap ng sched noh! haaay.. tas tapos na ung gig even before malaman ko! argh.. malas ang september! so not my month... grrr...

So, ngyon pinapakingan ko na ung cd ng craeons. Ang ganda talaga ng boses ni casper. Idol. Naiyak pa nga ako sa ganda ng voice niya kanina eh. ung track 3 talagang nakakainlove! dun talaga ako naiyak! what about, ung title pa nun ay "wag ka nang iiyak". kamusta naman un db??? Sooobrang pamatay talaga. Mas malupet pa sa boses ni Kitchie.


Song ko to para kay Kean:

Grabe, ikay grabe. Ang dating mo ang tindi.
Grabe, ikay grabe. Huling huli ang kiliti.
Grabe, ikay grabe. Wala na akong masabi.
Grabe, ikay grabe. Ikay swabeng swabe!

my life as a lawyer sucks. my life as an events organizer rocks.

KIKO MACHINE @ ncba

im with kiko machine people kanina. astig talaga. no pictures for this gig, sira kasi ung camera ko eh. so what about? pinagpalit ko ang readings sa pol dy for kiko machine concert. haha. ayos lang yan.

eeewww. may group of guys pa kanina na nanghingi nung number jo kanina. mga "rakista wannabe". fashioned with all balck ang chucks. ewweeness. i juz told them that i dont have a fone, then i ran. haha.

yey! i have craeons cd na. astig tlaga ng voice ni casper. idol ko na sha. astig! she made me realize na maganda pala ang tatood on my mind. nirevive kasi niya eh and rock ung kinalabasan. not senti. kaya i super liked it. i like craeons na talaga. word is casper's song was included in pinoy dream academy. check it out.

hmmp... didnt saw kean kanina. i miss him nah! its been a week na since nung nakita at nakausap ko sha. miss him so much. AY oo nga pala, kanina nakilala ko ung cuzin ni tatsi! ayos. more connections. astig. astig ang music world. music crowd. lalo na ang rock scene.

*gtg na! gotta read the fucking pol dy readings. yuckieness. stucked with this stupidity.

Ms. Elisette Blancaflor i envy you sooo much. if i can be like you, i would give everything just to live one day in your shoes. if i can be like you, what can i do? what could i do? ...ur so pretty. ur just 17 yrs old. ur a rock star. u have an angelic face and voice. ur so astig. ur mabait. im dying to have friends like urs. ur friends with callalily. ur bestfriend is tatsi jamnague. u can write great songs. ur maputi. ur petit. IN SHORT, ur everything i wanna be or am not! sooo lucky to be you. haha

*magpapa-perm nako ng hair as soon as magkaron na ako ng money. nagprint na nga ako ng picture ni casper para un ung gayahin sa parlor eh. im thinking if bench fix or ystilo. watcha think???

so we were once again stranded at the same ground (ust) last sat 090906. but we had fun. totally. it was super fun coz we have bonding moments at the time of baha. AYOS. we stayed at aldo's crib until we figured out on how to go home.

i love my oh so classmates: iya, mitch, tin, gerby, and aldo. ahahaha.

we are super certified thomasians na. 2 times in one week. beats the record. AYOS. i love ust. go uste.

even though it is raining damn hard outside, we managed to put on make ups for gelo's birthday party. BUT, we didnt go afterall. at least we are pretty. haha



history


theres this guy, itago nalang natin sha sa pangalang (kristian manjares). lately were actually being textm8s na yata ah! nothingness.. haha



stars


so theres this gurl. i dunno who she is but she makes a lot of sense. damn it. i hate it when people are right. grrr. party pooper. dream crasher. bubble popper. heart breaker.

if u like someone, someone whos really famous maybe you can relate to her article. but still, i like kean, tatsi, and callalily. il just stop wishing something would happen. if something will happen, so be it. i dont wanna be just a fan, i wanna be a friend who likes their music. someone who doesnt go gaga over their looks and talents. uhhh.. this is hard. yah i know, but i gotta do this. coz its sooo pathetic. how could i reach the stars if im not a star myself?! right? so, i gotta be a star! have to be one. ahaha. but i would still support them and go to their gigs but il just not scream for their names and get oh so kilig and drool over them. il just watch them sing and compliment em. AYOS.

here it goes--"on bands and stars.."

well,needless to say everyone wants to be their friends.. know their full name,school schedule,get their pictures,cellphone numbers or maybe home addresses,ancestry(???) it is also evident that it is through their fans that they get the support to get them going in the tough music industry..aside from their own personal reasons as well that they would very much prefer to keep to themselves.. seeing them up close is something but touching them or maybe having them (or one of them) know your name is a whole different thing..it gives you more to fantasize about..most probably the possibility of actually achieveing one of your short term fantasies--being FRIENDS with them..not just bigtime fans.. the problem then is that you;ll have to be a fan first before you can even ever catch their interest..unless of course you are his/their type.. there really is this thing with hard-to-reach human beings..they get to say stuff and get away with it..the next day they forget that they promised someone that "he won't forget your name and the face that goes with it"..or "you should go online..i'll search you on the web.." who knows how many individuals(fans of course) go about their days with those same thoughts resounding in their head..oh the momentary pleasure.. that's just about it..about being a fan..its a one- way thing..you have to make your way to the front of every concert just for them to catch a glimpse of you .. still,they remain stars..unreachable and far away.. and what they said to you on that one chance you got close to them for free.. you might as well forget about it..you know they did.. no,i do not have anything against fans and their routines when it comes to really cool bands with amazing members.. i am merely saying something frustrating.. after all there are hundreds of other erika's who scream YOUR name,ayt?..that's not exactly me.. i like stars as a song..but it would have been nice to be friends with a person/people from a band and realize that he/they are actual humans too..right?.. i guess that's the way things go..



MTV AYOS!

Bubble gang bar @ Katipunan 7pm



*my heart beats faster and slower at the same time with Kean. While, my heart beats incessantly with Tatsi*
_________________________________


This day I decided to once again use my free cut on political dynamics and human resource management. Id rather stay home and chill for a while, cause my life is getting too stressful for me.

I went to bubble gang bar to watch a gig. Most of the people there were THE ateneans cause THE ateneo is near that bar. I really love that gig. Best crowd ever. unlike thomasians. THE ateneans were such good people. They are not papansin but they are really maarte ah! But in a good way that genny and I can blend with THE ateneans very well. Maybe they thought that we are ateneans as well. Haha

First performace was with 6 cycle mind. I like ney! Hes such a cute rock star. liit kasi niya eh. Ahaha he did trip, I, and sandalan.


Next was Juana. I like Shirley, shes so cute and fat-bulous. Haha when she was singing, shes always looking and pointing at us, rather me. cause I was kinda making kindat and smiling at her. Haha walalang just wanted to cheer her up kasi the sound system SUCKS bigtime. We cant even hear her sing! Wtf?!


There were stand up comedians. They were joking about sex, lust, and the likes. Green jokes usually pisses me off. But in that moment I didn’t feel like im exploited. Maybe green jokes are funny if delivered in English. Unlike at UST, green jokes are delivered in tagalog which makes it so damn irritating. Yuck. Wtf?!


Then callalily. At first I thought that since we are at THE ateneo I wont have so many karibal. BUT, OMG when they arrived the oh so poised ateneans go gaga over kean. Lumabas din ang kajologan nila. Si kean lang talaga ang mabenta sa mga atenista because he looked quite elite himself. BUT the problem is, when talking to the crowd hes speaking in pure tagalog. As-in. then, I was like: “OMG! Kean magenglish ka! Tang**a, nasa THE ateneo ka”. Grabe! Wtf?! It was so nakakahiya. Oh well, they still liked him despite his inability to talk in English. Haha they did pasan, take my hand, insane, and stars. somewhere in the middle of insane, he went to our table. haha astig. then at the gig i really saw him looking at us. woohooo. i love him for that.





Im now officially declaring, that kean and I are FRIENDS. Yes people. We are friends. He knows me personally. He knows how I look like and he knows my name. As well as tatsi. Haha so nice. ASTIG talga. Pictures nanaman. What can I do if im vain? I LOVE kean, but we/I cant deny the fact na mas bagay talaga kami ni Tatsi. hahaha







After their set we headed home via taxi. We were in front of THE ateneo while waiting for a taxi and two varsity from THE ateneo were there as well. Then a taxi stopped in front of them, the guy was about to get in but then he saw us and gave his taxi at us. We were hesitant but he insisted, kaya un we got in and thanked the two oh so gentle man guys. Thats why we love THE atenistas. Super gentleman unlike mga taga-uste. Makikipag agawan pa sa fx. Raaaaar!!!


I also wanna say that, I love Ma. Genny P. Gutierrez for always being there for me. For always making sama at gigs. As well as to Syndy B. Bathan. I love you guys. I dunno what to do without you.



AYOS. ASTIG. WHATTA NIGHT!


!!!_I saw Kean kanina_!!!


Kamusta naman un? I saw mr. Kean Cipriano kanina sa tapat ng AB bldng nung palabas na kami nina mitch and aufie. Dko pa nga sha napansin nung una eh, ang napansin ko lang ay ung mga people puro tga-music! AYOS! Si mitch pa nga ung nakapansin eh…

Grabe! Upon seeing kean, napatili talaga ako ng malakas. As in! Pati nga si kean napatingin dahil sa tili ko eh. Haha. Kunwari nlng dahil natapilok ako kaya ako tumili ok? Not because I saw kean.hahaha then un, buti nlng pareho kami ng pupuntahan kaya mejo nastalk ko pa sha.hahaha

I wanna thank the following for making this possible:

1. myself, for going to school today.
2. mr. Ampil, for dismissing us at the perfect time.
3. mr. Aquino, for making us wait for him.
4. aufie & mitch, sa pagsama niyo sa akin.
5. Kean, for walking there at the perfect timing!!


*special thanks for the outside force (destiny) para sa pagtatagpo naming ni Kean at the exact same time and place! Super thanks outside force. it really felt like the universe conspired with us rather me, at that particular moment. haha



!!!__nakachat ko si tatsi kanina__!!!!


(haha, sa mga karibal ko... mamatay kayo sa inggit!haha)


im super loving this day ah. most jockpotest moment of all the days ever. i love 070906, thursday! muah.


*di ko na kinaya ang kagwapuhan ni kean
_________________________

kean is once again making my heart go nuts!! ...di ko na kinaya ang kagwapuhan niya... ibang klase talaga!!! ..he's hot as hell talaga! ..waaah! from this day.. sinusumpa ko na hindi ako magkakaboyfriend unless si Kean un...(this is subject to change ah!)

kean magkikita nanaman tayo sa friday! sna makilala mo pa ako!!!


*Kean Cipriano, will u marry me??? ...please?


yesterday (040906) i became a thomasian!

i dunno if im gonna love the rain or hate it. eitherway, nangyari na ang nangyari. so i might as well love the rain for making me a true thomasian and spending 5-ish hours with my oh so classmates! ..i gotta love the rain for it!

i'm sooo damn missing my kada! ..its been a long time since nung nacomplete kami...

to syndy, genny, nadia, andee and she she or sa lahat nlng na gustong sumama...
be ready! dahil puno na naman ang sched natin ng gigs this september! pero dont worry dahil puro friday naman ang mga gigs kaya walang mangyayari na pugcucut! AYOS! good students na tayo!


CANDY MAGAZINE CROWD FAVORITES:
(crushable guys)
1. gerald anderson
2. chuck allie
3. ace aceron
4. ton vergel de dios
5. aldred gatchalian
6. MONG ALCARAZ
7. daniel naval
8. KEAN CIPRIANO
...blah blah blah

go kean! you rock! ..celebrity ka na talaga... AYOS! SOLID!


DECODE YOUR BOY'S TURF:
the musician

where to spot him: music bars (saguijo and mayrics)
best traits: unconventional, creative, and passionate
get together: be a bend-aid not a groupie. show interest in the music not just the guy. girls who go gaga over rock stars may turn some guys off, so take it easy! think twice about diving into the mosh pit to catch his attention.


so i need to lay-off muna. dapat discreet muna ako para mapansin ni kean. i wanna be his friend rather his girl friend not just a fan or a groupie!haha


gigs this week:
*spongecola album launch @ metrowalk 7pm
*kiko machine @ ncba

argh! nakakainis tlga ung yahoo groups ng callalily. its september na tapos di pa nila nilalagay ung sched of gigs for september. i need to know na, para maadjust ko ung sched ko at sched ng frnds ko!haha


(ira, syndy, genny) __best dudes i'll ever have! i dunno what il do without them in my life!


my oh so friends. yan ang mga tunay na kaibigan ko. lagi ko silang nahihila kahit saan at lagi silang sumasama, no questions asked. kahit ano pa man ang pupuntahan namin, gig man or kahit christian worship lagi kaming game sa lahat. haaay... i love you guys!!! thanks for always supporting my kabaliwan sa buhay. from uaap to f4 to mojofly to sandwich and now, callalily!haha


*nung sunday when i was watching the play at PETA, suddenly namiss ko si Kean! ang weird talaga! kasi kakaiba ung feeling. ung tipong namiss mo! eh to think, di naman kami totally "nagsasama", though sometimes may moment kami! ahhh...bsta weird!


Thinking about law school scares the hell out of me!!!
I can’t possibly pass the bar examination, so why waste time and money in law school right? ..nakakatakot lang kasi talaga eh!

This sem I decided to shift my life from boring to super not boring. From girl next door to a "rebel". Kaya puro gigs nlng ang pinupuntahan ko at super umaga na ako palaging nakakauwi at 4hrs nlng ata ang tulog ko everyday then papasok lang ako for the sake na makapag-quiz kahit di nagaaral! ..and i always get through with it! AYOS!!!

Next sem pipilitin ko nang ishift ung career ko from lawyer to events organizer.

Q:What is an event organizer?
A:It is a job na mag-organize ng events. be it in theater, fashion, movie, or music. it is the fastest rising job now a days which has a huge income and has many perks.
Q: what are the requirements to be one?
A: you dont have to have a diploma for it. the only thing you gotta have is connections and pr.

Ayos!!! the most perfect job for me!!! yehey... i have a future! kaya next sem sisimulan ko na ang paghahanap ng connections! ayos!!! my dream job!




Q: Love or Tinapay?
A: TINAPAY!!!


who stole my sanity?


*YOU* stole my sanity!!!


..i hate you for it...

!and i hate myself for letting you have it!


but i love every moment i spend with you...

my life is worth living because i know i have you!


how could someone let me feel this way?

my heart, so cold and numb... can now feel?!

is this a dream?


loosing this feeling scares the hell out of me...

you, having my sanity.. may be the best thing that ever happened to me!

or is it?!?